Don't Block Your Blessing: Finding Love Outside of My Race

Don't block your blessings..... this is a phrase I use a lot because a few years ago I almost did just that. 

First let me be clear, my purpose in writing this blog post is to share my experience of finding my soulmate where i least expected. growing up in Missouri races were very separate in terms of social activities, school, and neighborhoods so interracial dating was not the norm or something that i saw very often. 

Prior to meeting my fiancé i had a type and it was the complete opposite of him, I loved me a chocolate man with a cocky personality. Now i didn't discriminate but if i had to choose that would be my choice when dating. Growing up i never dated outside of my race, i grew up in an urban community and went to school there as well. 

So it’s safe to say that interracial dating was very new to me, and a little uncomfortable. After moving to a new city and meeting my now fiancé we became friends, mainly because that was all i was comfortable with at the time. 

After a few months of friendship and getting to know each other we both were really into one another but i just couldn’t take the leap and start actually dating. I will admit it was out of my comfort zone and in my mind it wasn't in my plans. i had my dream man in my head and if you remember he was very chocolate and we were going to have little chocolate babies. 

Despite my issues in my head we started dating and the best way to describe it was comforting and easy. I never had to guess how he felt about me, he always told me. I didn't worry about if he was into me or happy to see me, he would say it every day. after the first few real dates we were inseparable, we spent almost everyday together and it's been almost 4 years now. 

Now your probably thinking that's were the story ends but throughout this perfect dating story i was still fighting a battle with myself. I was someone who wanted "black love" so what was i doing in this relationship. there were several times that i tried to sabotage the relationship with silly issues that i made up in my head. yes the relationship was amazing and i had never been happier but was this really the person i was supposed to end up with?

Luckily I have amazing friends and after a conversation with my BFF Regina who challenged me on why i was making this so hard and not just enjoying the happiness that found me. after that conversation i focused on truly enjoying the relationship that i was in and being open to the possibility of forever with him. 

Now you see where my motto comes from, don't block your blessings. my soul-mate turned out to be the opposite of all the things i looked for previously but it was everything i needed. He allows me to be my best self and only wants to bring me joy in any way possible. I love to share my story with friends and challenge them the same way my friend challenged me, love should be easy and it should be the best part. Life is hard enough and the person you’re with should be the light at the end of the tunnel on a daily basis. 

Now before i go let me be transparent that everything is not perfection, i am always aware of the looks we get from people who don't agree with interracial dating or shake their heads as we walk past ( it has happened a few times, mainly from older people). despite the looks and judgement i choose my happiness over everything and i encourage you to do the same. 

Lastly, the purpose of my post is not to say happiness is outside your race or that black men can't bring happiness (there are amazing men in all races and not so amazing men also), my goal is to share the possibility of missing out on your happiness by staying in your comfort zones. whether it be work, relationships, or a personal goal don't stand in your own way of a blessing that is meant for you. 

Thanks for stopping by, see ya!